Men...

(note: this actually took place on Easter Sunday - not today)

Ever have a clarifying moment in time that truly defines the state of your marriage and ya just go "Wow... did I screw up or what?"

And no, I don't mean screw up by ME doing anything wrong, I meant HE did something wrong and I screwed up by thinking it wouldn't happen... again.

See it all started rather innocently. It always does, come to think of it. Then *wham*... Hubby Happens. I need a bumper sticker for that. Not "Doo-doo Happens"... I need "Hubby Happens". Other wives could probably relate.

Okay, back to the story, stick with me. He bought me a bottle of Martinelli's Sparkling Cider a while back. I love the stuff, but I don't drink it that much anymore (cuz it's carbonated, I have to wait till like half the fizz goes out once it's opened, long story but I don't drink carbonated things that much anymore), it's special. So it sat unopened for a little while, sue me... it won't go bad in a month or two... or even three. Then two nights ago I opened it, and over two days drank about half of it... slowly. Hey, I was savoring the treat, ya know?

Now if you're still with me, here's where it gets interesting:

Hubby knows he bought it for me.
Hubby saw it in the fridge.
Hubby knew we didn't have another bottle tucked away somewhere just in case he felt the urge to finish off the half of the bottle.
Hubby didn't pay diddly-squat to all of that.
Hubby lost what's left of his mind completely and drank it.

Hubby then hid the empty bottle so I wouldn't notice until this morning when I got up thinking "Oh... it's Easter. I'll make me some eggs ranchero for lunch/breakfast (guess that's brunch huh) and I'll have the rest of that bottle to go with it, that would taste really good!"

And you ladies know, when you wake up with a thought of something that sounds really good... it just has to be there. It's like a craving for chocolate... you get the craving, you have to have it. Or a craving for ice cream. Or whatever. Well I had a hankering for the rest of that sparkling cider.

So there I was, fixing the eggs: Then I muttered to myself as I headed to the fridge: "Eggs almost done, time to get the bottle of... ohhh... it's... it's... IT'S GONE!!! ACKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!! OH. NO. HE. DID. NOT!!!!"

I actually closed the fridge, looked around to MAKE SURE I was still in my kitchen, opened the fridge and stared at the empty spot. Looked through all the items in the fridge. Nope, no tall long-necked dark green bottle ANYWHERE!!!

That beastie DRANK THE REST OF THE CIDER!

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I woke him up. He works graveyard, he's off tonight, I can do that. He'll just go back to sleep anyhow.

Me: "WhathappenedtotherestoftheMartinelli's?" (Like I don't know. Ha.)
Him: "Huh?"
Me: "Didyoudrinkit?"
Him: "Wha...?"
Me: "I said... whathappenedtotherestoftheMartinelli'sdidyoudrinkit?"
Him: "Oh... that."

He snored.

Me: "WAKE. UP."
Him: "Huh? Wha...?"

I repeated my questions rapid-fire. Eggs were cooling. I needed sparkling cider NOW. Hey... it was an epic crisis, fer cryin' out loud!!

Him: "Oh yeah... I drank it."
Me: "WHAT?! That was MINE!!"
Him, whining: "Well, there wasn't that much left..."
Me: "There was half a bottle!"
Him, trying to justify: "No there wasn't, there was like one fourth of a bottle, you'd already drunk three quarters of it."
Me, not buying it: "It was still mine, why'd you drink it?"
He almost looked like he was going to say, "Because it was there" but he didn't.
Him, sheepish: "Oh... well I didn't know you wanted the rest of it, so I finished it off."

SHEESH. Men.

Now of course, my eggs are done, no apple cider to be found. Craving's still there. So then I'm eating and he wants to come out to "talk". Not about the missing cider. Oh no, that would be too easy! He wants to tell me some story he made up while I'm eating my eggs sans cider about the Easter Bunny and the computer geek and the military guy. I wonder which one of us is the computer geek.

Gee I feel so special. Not.

Sooo... I screwed up because I thought that if he gave me a gift, then it was mine to use and I didn't have to label it or tell him "mitts off this". I shoulda known better, I shoulda put my freakin' name on it, sheesh.

*pout* I want my sparkling cider... it'll take a while to wear off the craving, maybe a chocolate bunny would work, LOL.

P.S. Two hours later, and 3 small Milky Way bunnies later... all's right with the world again, hehehehe. I'm not THAT pissed about the Martinelli's, most of that's just satire.