Some Days It Pays To Complain

Okay this is a long one, but worth it. Sit back, relax, grab a cuppa coffee... enjoy.

I don't care what hubby says, some days it pays to complain. He can be as embarrassed if he wants, if I wanna complain, I will. And publicly, too. I'm too old not to, at this point.

Now, I don't mean just complaining for the sake of hearing my own whining, I mean complaining when someone's done something wrong. Like messing up your meal in a restaurant, or telling you they'll have your car ready at such-n-such time and then it's four days later they finally tell you 'oh woops we forgot we had to order that part from Germany!'... ya know... stuff like that. We're all consumers at some point, so if my purchase is whacked out for any reason, there's a right to complain somewhere in there. And I mean I complain nicely, I don't go off half-cocked. If I'm gonna go off, it's fully-cocked.

*cough* *cough* *cough* Don't touch that.*cough* *cough* *cough*

See, it all started innocently. Heck, it always does. Last week, to get hubby outta the house so I could work on my writing, and to make him happy with something to do on his day off, hubby went to Taco Bell. Ooooo I love those Gordita Baja with steak, mm mm mm. Tasty things, they are... when they're made right!

Problem is... what he brought back was a piece of flatbread with just steak and lettuce and a teensy sprinkle of cheese.

Well. Humph. I've had them before, I know what's in them: seasoned ground beef, jalapeño pepper sauce (that stuff is AWESOME), salsa fresca, lettuce, cheese, and since we added steak... carne asada steak. I even looked up their website to verify that's what I'd had before, and compared it to the receipt showing what he'd ordered, AND what he'd paid for were all correct. They'd just screwed up in making the thing, and had skipped most of the ingredients. Ack.

Some days I'm fully passive-aggressive (and this was one), so I figured why complain to them directly by phone when their WEBSITE lets me complain to the head honchos? Soooo I fired off a well-written and stated-clearly complaint, no screaming just stating the facts on when-where-what-how-etc. That was ummm... last Wednesday night I think. Late at night, too, I had to think on it for a while... to complain or not complain, that was the question.

In today's mail - a very, VERY nice apology letter from Taco Bell Corporate, and a coupon for two free items of my choice from the menu. Woohoo! Free lunch, here I come.

Works for me!

Then as I sat here thinking of all the bazillion times I've had something like this occur, I think the absolute best was Arby's:

Quite a few years back, me and a friend had gone to an Arby's that just so happened to have one of the corporate offices NEXT DOOR. And not in a separate building, they shared the SAME front door. You'd think the staff would be ultra-trained at that site, right? Wrong.

I'd asked if the special new ham-n-cheese sandwich on the menu was hot (they don't serve it anymore, not the same way), and it turned out, it was not - it was deli style, but nowhere on the overhead menu or the signs by the cash register did it say that. It even looked hot in the picture, melting cheese and all! And the cashier taking my order told me it was hot, he confirmed it.

When the tray arrived, I said it's wrong, it's supposed to be hot. The employee said no it's not hot, and walked away. Well, that bent me the wrong way.

And so began my life of filing complaints at restaurants.

So I went up to the register with the offending food. THEN... they refused to refund my money because it's what I'd ordered (the previous cashier was on break, what timing). So I walked next door (with the tray). Now this really embarrassed my friend, but I wasn't going to eat cold ham-n-cheese when hot was what I'd paid for and what I'd expected and what my head and stomach and mouth were all prepped for – cold just was not gonna cut it.

Whaddya know, the corporate office was closed for the day. I think it was a Saturday, that's why.

So I grabbed a complaint form, went back to my table, filled out the complaint, stuffed it in the complaint box by the corporate door, along with my receipt and...

...about 2-3 days later got in the mail an envelope with a personal letter apologizing, and the promise that they'd retrain the individuals, AND... a stack (!!!) of free coupons, enough for ohhh a dozen meals and potato cakes, fries, drinks, etc.

Shocked the heck outta me!! All I'd wanted was a refund for 2 small cold ham-n-cheese sandwiches. Did they go over the top? You betcha!! Now that's customer service. Didn't cost them anything in the long run, and it made me an Arby's fan for life, hehehe.

We don't live by that Arby's place anymore, but you bet when we did, I went in there once a week... just to see if I could get them to screw up again. And darn it if I couldn't!! They'd retrained them all very, very, VERY well.

But now... we live near this Taco Bell.

Looks like 'game on' again. *grin*

Movie Night

We have a game in this house... it's loosely called "Guess What Movie Is Playing In Under Five Minutes". There's no prize, other than bragging rights, and bonus kudos to the person that can name the most actors/actresses. So... since it's hubby day off and I need a break from all that month-end hoo-haw, and HBO was playing an old movie from '83 we hadn't watched in FOREVER... it was game on: "Mr. Mom". Cute movie, haven't watched it in years.

And since hubby missed opening credits... he was the obvious guesser:

Him, two seconds after sitting down: "Oh, I know what movie this is!"
Me, knowing he'd draw a blank: "Go ahead, guess."
Him, drawing a blank: "It's umm..."
Me, rolling my eyes: "Don't hold me in suspense, just guess!!"
Him: "It's... umm..."
Me, sighing: "Sheesh. Guess already."
Him: "It's that one where the Japanese..."
Me: "No, it's so NOT "Gung Ho"."
Him: "Are you sure?"
Me, looking for something other than the heavy metal stapler to throw: "Gimme a break, I picked it out, you guess."
Him: "It's umm..."
Me: "Geez. Just watch the movie. When you're ready to guess, just spit it out."

Two minutes later...

Him: "I know what it is."
Me, sighing again: "Okay, which one is it? Guess."
Him: "It's umm..."
Me: "We been through this before, numbnut."
Him: "It's that one with the car industry."
Me: "It's. Not. Gung. Ho."
Him: "Are you sure?"

Me: "It's. Not. Gung. Ho. Really!"

An additional two minutes later...

Him: "I know what it is."
Me, agitated cuz he was taking too long: "Fine. Guess."
Him: "It's that one where he takes over his wife's... umm..."
Me, cutting him off cuz I really wanted to watch it now: "When you know the title, let me know. Just. Watch. The. Movie."

Several minutes later yet (well over the five-minute mark)...

Him, yelling so loud me AND all five cats jumped two feet: "MR. MOM!!!"

I could smell smoke, he'd thought so hard.

I won, he didn't guess it under five minutes, and he only guessed Michael Keaton, completely missing Teri Garr. I tormented him by pulling up IMDB.com and listing all the other movies Teri's been in... he still drew a blank. Until the end credits rolled (that cheater).

The grass is always greener...

So it's now mowing season... again. We have a cordless rechargeable Black and Decker dealie, works great (when it's been serviced properly) and so easy even I can use it. Had it for ohhh 11 years. Hubby-dearling thought it was 15, had to prove to him it was only 11 (ha! I can add 7+4!!).

Anyhow... so he decided to do yard work this morning. After 2 hours of NOT hearing the lawnmower running, I poked my curious head out the door.

Me, watching him walk around the yard aimlessly, sans mower: "What's going on?"
Him, waving a weed-plucking device in one hand towards the garden shed: "Mower needs charging."
Me, scowling: "It was charged two days ago."
Him: "Well somehow it got unplugged." (guess he thinks squirrels did it)
Me, owning up: "Right - I unplugged it because it had been plugged in for a week already."
Him, hands on hips: "Well now it has to charge."
Me: "Are you sure?"
Him: "It has a red light."
Me: "Did you test it to see if maybe it was borderline and you could run it for a while, then charge it later?"
Him: "No, it has a red light."
Me: "Oka-a-ay, fine. Just try it, see if it's charged, I think the red light's a false-negative, it does that sometimes but it still has juice to run."

Ten minutes later...

Him, coming in the door scowling: "Can't mow. Blade just snapped off."
Me, disgusted at another delay: "Oh goodie. Guess that means it don't need charging now."
Him: "No, it needs a new blade."
Me: "You can take care of that, right?"

I could actually hear the grass growing. He just stood there looking at me with a blank look like I was supposed to stop work and go get a new blade from gosh-knows-where.

After two minutes of silent staring, I gave in and got the phone book out.

Me, disgusted further: "I knew I'd end up doing this."
Him: "I'm NOT going to Portland for a blade."
Me, rolling my eyes: "You'll go where the repair place IS, even if it's Portland."
Him: "I'm not going to Portland."

Dug around, found the owner's manual, looked up where the Service Center was... and... and... and... oh joy of joys!

Me, grinning like an idiot cuz I couldn't help myself: "Guess what, you're going to Portland!!"

Okay, I said that a little too gleefully, so sue me.

He growled.

Me, trying to justify: "It's not far, sweetie, it's just south of us right across the Columbia, barely into Portland, see?"

Held up a map to show him where it was. He studied it, grunted, then walked away. I went back to work.

He came back two minutes later in his jammies.

Me: "Ummm... hellllllo... does 'lawnmower need a blade today' mean anything to you?"
Him, plopping down in recliner: "I have to go TODAY?"
Me: "When would you suggest going?"
Him, thinking it would be a week before next day off and obviously hearing the grass growing too: "Umm..."
Me: "Get the mower and all the stuff in your car. It probably needs more than just a blade, so take everything with you and they can look at the whole thing. I'll print a map from Google for you. It's not far, you'll be down and back before you know it."

The grown man cussed and growled at me the whole way down the hall - at least that's what I think he did, I tuned him out. Thank God for earplugs, I say.

He disappeared to the garage in street clothes, then ten minutes later he came in sweating with a triumphant look on his face.

Him: "Had to wrestle the thing into the car."
Me: "I coulda helped you, you know, that sucker's kinda heavy."
Him: "Well... it's done. So there."

We're so mature, I almost stuck my tongue out at him but I didn't. He's been complaining about the mower for the last year. "It doesn't cut like it should!" "We need a new mower!" "It runs down on its charge too fast!" "We need a gas mower!" "I can't cut the lawn with this mower!!" and it never stops.

Well, if he replaced the blade when it got dull or chipped (takes an Act of Congress for him to do that), charged it properly (which he's never learned how), replaced the battery pack (another feat of modern science he doesn't understand yet), got the thing serviced ONCE IN A WHILE (don't get me started there), there'd be no whining. I usually tuned him out. Most of it sounded like "blah blah blah lawnmower blah blah blah" anyhow. The mower's his responsibility, not mine. It's not like I'm foisting off my own task, it's just that he said it was his thing years ago, so he can handle it on his own, right?

Turned out to be a bad-news-good-news thing: bad news, our old mower was broke and old, 11 years. The deck was pitted with holes, needed major work for almost $200 PLUS the cost of a new deck. But good news was that for $299 (and no sales tax cuz it's Oregon! yay!), we could get a factory like-new reconditioned model - a NEWER model too with better controls and better handle and everything - with all new stuff today with no waiting and wonder of wonders, they'd scrap out the old beast for us. Being this is the PNW and they're recycle-happy everywhere and especially here too, that's a bonus for us - no trash dumping fee, no figuring out what to do with a busted out-of-date mower with a battery pack that would have to be handled by a HazMat Team.

Me, just one hour later after the beginning of the whole fiasco: "You happy now?"

He just grunted. I took that as happiness. At least it wasn't whining or growling or cussing.

So we got a 'new' mower. Thing's a beauty too, I might just take up mowing again - if he'd let me touch his new toy. Did he remember to take the old grass catcher, charger, and mulching device? No, darnitall. But... hubby-dearling's happy. Hopefully I won't hear any whining for another decade until this one dies.

I can dream, can't I?

All in a days' work

(This really happened on April 1st - just waited to post it... enjoy!)

I love tech support people. Not just any tech support people - tech support with a good sense of humor.

There I was, April 1st, and my home phone and internet were down. The cable TV worked, but... without internet and phone I was lost. Well mostly the internet. I don't talk on the phone much but the internet is my line to my friends, family, work, stuff, you name it. I was lost.

L-O-S-T... lost. Couldn't check email, check pals online, or... what was that other thing? Oh yeah, I couldn't WORK. I didn't think it was any funny April Fools Day joke either. It wasn't. My service provider was having issues.

Aaaaaiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!

I could live without having to work for a day, but no internet? *GASP* Might as well cut off my sugar intake while you're at it, cruel people.

So by 10pm I was frantic. I'd done as much as I could while no internet all day - paid bills, cooked, laundry, cleaned, fiddled with paperwork, drove hubby nuts, chased the cats around the house... it was getting old. I needed my internet back. Soooo I called my cable company again... fifth time that day... they were blah blah aware of an outtage in my area blah blah blah and were still working blah blah blah blah on it and had no blah blah blah blah idea when it would blah blah blah blah blah blah be back up.

Aaaaaiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!

Depressed, I went to bed HOURS early at 10:30pm. My usual fall-asleep time is well after midnight cuz I like to write STUFF LIKE THIS late at night when it's quiet and the late night talk shows are on.

Then I proceeded to wake up every 2 hours to look at the modem. Still blinking. Blinking's not good. Blinking's bad. Very bad. Blinking means no phone, and NO INTERNET.

Aaaaaiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!

Needless to say, I did not sleep. I dreamt of being without the internet for days and then weeks on end, stuck on some forgotten island with nothing more than a deflated basketball named Wilson and a box from Fedex with wings on it. Oh wait, that was a movie, never mind. I digress.

11am rolls around, and frustrated beyond frustrated, ready to rip hubby a new one (just for chuckles this time, the earlier time at 9am he deserved it but that's another blog some day) I decided to try and reset the modem to see if that would make any difference. Ha. So much for my rational frame of mind.

Soooo... I turned it around, unplugged ALL the things... and turned it back around to see... IT STILL LIT UP! And the light internet was still blinking, by the way.

Aaaaaiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!

How's that possible? I nearly dropped it. It was...

The Modem From Hell!! My cable company had obviously given me a possessed piece of equipment.

Aaaaaiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!

Shivering, I plugged it back in, unplugged it just to check, counted to ten and looked and sure enough... It. Was. still. on!

Aaaaaiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!

So I called my cable company on my cell phone, got a live tech geek, nice guy named... ohhh I forgot his name but it was something like... Derek. He sounded like a Derek and Derek's a nice name so we'll call him Derek from here on out.

I explained my situation to Derek and ended it with the part about my modem being possessed. He understood and chuckled. Best of all, he understood my fright. AND he understood that I'd been in full blown internet withdrawal for just over 24 hours and had the shock of my life from... *ominous drum roll please* The Modem From Hell. Dah dah DAHHHHH!!!!

Derek: "After a long service outage like we had yesterday, sometimes we have to reset the modem and it'll work just fine, hang in there."
Me: "I tried to reset it myself thinking that'd help but it won't reset."
Derek: "I'd be glad to reset your modem from here."
Me: "You can? Oh you're a blessing. I'm really worried about it though, should it stay on like that?"
Derek: "The newer models like you have are fully battery-backed-up so your phone will stay on in a power outage."
Me: "Ahhhh... no one told me that before."
Derek: "Okay, you ready? I'm going to reset it now."
Me: "Ready as I can ever be, do I need to back away?"
Derek: "No, it's okay. I have the holy water and cross ready, here we go."

I laughed. Pleasant AND quick with a Snappy Comeback, I like that!!

Me: "Good thing I'm wearing a necklace of garlic and I got the silver bullets in the gun already just in case."

(I took my Snappy Comeback Pill earlier too, apparently.)

He laughed and I watched the lights change on the device as he reset it remotely. In a minute it stabilized, no blinking, everything solid like it should be. Seconds later I was Googling and Yahooing and Facebooking like one drooling 'netophile and he was saying they take great pride in vanquishing the occasional vampiric modem.

I'm tellin' ya... the guy had a sense of humor. That's a blessing when you're stressed out. Next time I need to talk to a stressed out customer on the phone, I'm gonna remember Derek. He made me laugh so hard I cried.

Or maybe that was just my internet being back online that made my face wet.